At the end of every year I pick a theme for the upcoming year. It helps me orient around something meaningful to me: to give me a why that informs my relationships and actions. 2014 was the Year of Forgiveness. Which, by the way, I fought against until about March when I finally accepted it as my theme!
The year’s theme comes about this time, as the clock for December is dwindling and the New Year is on the horizon. The feeling, the essence in the air is a clue to what the next year’s theme will be. This time last year, the clue wasn’t so subtle. I had just finished a workout and in that blissful mind-silence that comes after getting my heart rate up I lay with my eyes closed and taking deep breaths. No thoughts. No emotions. Just me and the quiet snow falling.
Somewhere from that stillness I heard a thought. Like someone talking in my head who didn’t really sound like me, but was me all the same. And in this no-mind, weightless presence the voice whispered, “Can you forgive him?”
My eyes shot open and my body went rigid. Him: my step-father, the man whom I hated, who robbed me of a childhood and dignity. I had a full-body visceral rejection of this question. My tension, rage and bitterness all hardened with a resounding ‘NO.’
But then something quite strange happened. I don’t know if it was divine intervention or a sudden increase in my capacity for compassion, but something in me softened. Some hidden, tightly wound enclosure in my heart began to loosen its grasp. Like the unfurling of a rose I wept petal after petal of hatred onto my floor that day.
The origin of the word forgive means to ‘lay down the desire to cause harm’ – in other words, it means to let go of the longing for revenge. This past year was a great lesson in letting go of the desire to harm. In the end, however, the hardest person to forgive was me. I let go of the desire to punish myself and there is a beauty and freedom to it that I hadn’t imagined before.
Now there is stillness and relief.
Not so coincidentally, I feel the theme for my 2015 is the Year of Stillness and Relief. A year to stop fighting, receive and be. To stand in calm waiting for the dawn and welcome the light as it returns to my life. What I find terribly interesting about this year’s theme is that it is exactly what a Seer Soul Gift brings to the world: stillness and relief.
Each Soul Gift has its own hurdles and triumphs, its own long dark night of the soul. And, each Soul Gift has its own returning of the light:
- Initiators bring Faith
- Messengers bring Compassion
- Believers bring Nurturing
- Guardians bring Love
- Conduits bring Pleasure
- Seers bring Relief
- Convergers bring Freedom
If you’d like to take on your light as the theme for your year: please do so! It may not feel entirely right to you and that’s okay too. Whatever you decide, I wish you a very Happy New Year filled with joy, blessings and a returning of the light if it has been lost to you.